Kamal Tolia & Lotus Healing Seva Group

Asking For Forgiveness Part 4. Step 7 contd:

Last week we mentioned Quantum Physics which is the study of physical phenomena at microscopic scales. According to this branch of physics, we are all connected with each other ….. humans, plants, animals. Every cell, molecule, every atom and sub atomic particle is connected every other cell, atom and subatomic particle in the Universe.

So our hurtful actions to one person will, by extension, cause pain to all sentient beings in the universe. Therefore, asking for forgiveness from the person we know we have hurt is not enough. True forgiveness will be ours only after we have healed the pain we have caused in the world. How do you ask for forgiveness from all of humanity, all sentient beings, and all that lives and breathes? Do we apologise to everyone we meet?. or call up people we know, and then, a propos of nothing say … ‘by the way, I am sorry I hurt you?

….. Not quite. Such actions, however well intentioned, will leave the other party quite bewildered. They may even find them quite amusing and funny! No, this is definitely not going to take us far in our quest for total forgiveness!

One way of addressing this issue is to realize that the sorrow we have caused even one person has contributed to the collective sorrow in the world. If we want to be truly forgiven, we must atone for our actions’. We can do this by making a vow not to repeat this mistake AND make every effort to minimize the world sorrow to which we have contributed. We do this by doing as much good as we can, as often as we can, by doing acts of charity, seva, etc.

So give and give freely and give from the heart. Give with the knowledge that you are trying to redress a wrong to which you have consciously or unconsciously contributed to, in this life time or previous ones. This gives a new meaning to the reason why every religion and culture lays so much emphasis on giving …..

So in a nut shell, here are the steps:

1. Ehsaas …. The Realisation that you have wronged, and that you are responsible for hurting another.

2. Pashchataap. Regret your action and the pain you have caused the other……

3. Face the other party, express your regret and say you are Sorry! …..

4. Ask for Forgiveness!….

5. Resolve not to repeat the action again

6. Prayashchit, make amends….. 7. Atone for your actions to the Universe!

This concludes the procedure for asking for forgiveness! Followed sincerely, it enhances our chances of being truly forgiven!

Next week: Special cases and situations

Kamal Tolia

Founder Member

Lotus Healing Seva Group

Asking For Forgiveness …. Part 3. Step 6 contd.

Step 6. Whether or not we have been forgiven, we have to follow this step. It is called Prayashchit or making amends. It means righting the wrong or atoning for the wrong you have done. In the old days the rishis and sages would sit in ‘penance’ for the wrongs they had done. They would fast and stay in meditation for days in the belief that this would ‘pay’ for their ‘sins’.

How do you carry out atonement in this day and age? You do this by reflecting on your actions and resolving not to repeat them AND you do this also by showing your love for the other party by performing little acts of kindness, going out of our way to show you care. This will also serve to reinforce your genuineness of asking for forgiveness. It will perhaps drive home to the person that you sincerely wanted to be forgiven, that you did not have an ulterior motive for the same.

This kind of atonement is especially important to undertake if you have not been forgiven. In this case, atonement includes not hating them for it. Do not fall into the trap of not forgiving them for not forgiving you! Love them instead! Be extra helpful to them, go out of your way to show acts of love, go the extra mile to make them happy. At some point the other party will love you for it and forgiveness will flow unbidden!

Step 7. What is left to do still? This step goes beyond the small sphere of you and the other. It concerns the larger picture. It takes into account what Quantum Physics says: that we are all connected. Therefore, what I say, do or think affects not only the people in my vicinity and those visible to me. It affects my neighbor hood, my compound, my location, my city, my country, the Earth. And it does not stop there! Its vibration is experienced by all sentient beings in every nook and cranny in the Universe! Every time I show Love and Respect for one person, I have shown Love and Respect for all in the Universe! And each time I have hurt just one person, I have done the same to every person in the universe. Imagine that! Awesome! Just acknowledging this profound thought in our consciousness is deeply humbling!

So it stands to reason that asking for forgiveness from the person we know we have hurt is not enough. To experience total forgiveness, we have to ask for forgiveness from all of humanity! Blimey! How do we go about doing that? Read on next week …..

Next Week: Step 7 Contd.

Kamal Tolia

Founder Member, Lotus Healing Seva Group

Asking For Forgiveness Part 2

Last week we learned that asking for forgiveness is vital for our Peace. To be successful in this we need to understand what is involved. The following steps will help you.

Step 1. The most important step: Ehsaas. Realize that you have wronged. Realisation goes beyond simple knowing you have wronged. It includes acceptance of your mistake. That what you did, say or think was wrong, and that YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT. No IFS and BUTS!

Total Ehsaas means taking responsibility for you error. It was you who did the wrong, so it is you who must ask for forgiveness. Until you have Ehsaas in the deepest corner of your mind, you will find it difficult, maybe even impossible to ask for forgiveness.

Step 2. Pashchataap This step may be very difficult, but it has to be done. Feel Regret for what you have done. Feel remorse for the pain you have caused the other.

Step 3. Next face the person and ‘ADMIT TO THEM THAT YOU HAVE WRONGED THEM, AND EXPRESS YOUR REGRET AND REMORSE FOR HAVING HURT THEM’. Say you are SORRY!

Step 4. Now comes asking for forgiveness … Kshama Maangna or Maafi Mangna. Say it simply: I am sorry. I ask for your forgiveness for the wrong I have done and the pain I have caused you….’

At this stage, one of two things can happen: you will be forgiven or you will not be forgiven. If you are forgiven, you will feel a great sense of relief and a wave of Love from them to you, because forgiving is nothing short of loving!

But if the forgiveness does not come, you may feel spurned. No Love for you! Be accepting of it. Do not judge or hold it against them. They are still hurting … it is OK. Just be patient, in time they will forgive … allow them this time. Do not dwell on their unwillingness to forgive. In either case, whether you are forgiven or not, you will regain a measure of peace, secure in the knowledge that you have done the right thing! And in Truth, the fact that you have sincerely asked for forgiveness, you will have learned your lessons of humility and can move on!

Step 5. Resolve not to repeat the action again, for if you do, then the whole exercise of asking for forgiveness will have been in vain, and you will have lost all ground gained. You do this overtly by speaking it out aloud to the aggrieved party or you can make a vow silently in your mind. Both ways work fine provided you mean it with your heart!

Step 6. Whether or not we have been forgiven, we have to follow this step. It is called Prayashchit or making amends. It means righting the wrong or atoning for the wrong you have done. In the old days the rishis and sages would sit in ‘penance’ for the wrongs they had done. They would fast and stay in meditation for days in the belief that this would ‘pay’ for their ‘sins’.

Next week: Steps continued

With Reiki Blessings and Love from Kenya!

Kamal Tolia