Having repeated the mantra ‘Anger is a destructive force in me, I do not need it and I do not want it.’ for a week we will have incorporated it in our consciousness and will be ready to make changes in our personality for the better. Follow the sequence of steps listed below whenever you are faced with a situation in which you might potentially ‘lose it’
1. Observing self —- Observe your moods and thoughts. Watch yourself, become aware when you start to get angry.
Notice: I am now getting angry.
I am going to lose control now.
Accept that you are going through these emotions, don’t deny them, and don’t justify them
Affirm to yourself: I AM A CONSCIOUS BEING OF FREE WILL. I CHOOSE NOT TO BE CONTROLLED BY DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS LIKE ANGER. I WILL CHOOSE MY REACTION EACH TIME, IN EVERY SITUATION.
2. Introspection: I am aware of the anger rising in me. I know that this will be hurtful to others and affect my health adversely. It can be very harmful. I must drop this anger emotion and choose a positive, helpful emotion.
3. External analysis: This person has hurt/insulted/disobeyed me. Did he do that because he is frustrated? Is he worried about a sick person he has left at home or is he himself not well? Is he stressed about his job? Or is he deliberately being nasty to me? Whatever the reason, he is coming from a place of insecurity. He needs my understanding, my compassion. I will ignore what he did or say, or even better, I will smile at him, maybe pat his hand to show him I understand. I WILL CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE NOT TO GET ANGRY. I WILL CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE UNDERSTANDING, LOVE, COMPASSION.
The Result: Reacting with Love and Compassion automatically defuses a charged situation. It is impossible for a person to continue insulting or hurting another when all he gets from the other is Understanding. Soon the ‘angry moment’ will have passed, and you can pat yourself on the back because you succeeded in choosing the correct response in the situation
Practise these steps in every trying situation that crops up in your life and you will soon achieve success. You will become calmer and healthier. You will even reach a state in your life when you will be able to assist others on the road to mastery over their emotions.
Conquering anger in you will help you conquer other undesirable emotions in you. Above all, you will be rewarded with continued Peace of Mind, which is the perfect ground for bringing out the best in you in all situations.
Kamal Tolia