Kamal Tolia & Lotus Healing Seva Group

Asking For Forgiveness …. Part 3. Step 6 contd.

Step 6. Whether or not we have been forgiven, we have to follow this step. It is called Prayashchit or making amends. It means righting the wrong or atoning for the wrong you have done. In the old days the rishis and sages would sit in ‘penance’ for the wrongs they had done. They would fast and stay in meditation for days in the belief that this would ‘pay’ for their ‘sins’.

How do you carry out atonement in this day and age? You do this by reflecting on your actions and resolving not to repeat them AND you do this also by showing your love for the other party by performing little acts of kindness, going out of our way to show you care. This will also serve to reinforce your genuineness of asking for forgiveness. It will perhaps drive home to the person that you sincerely wanted to be forgiven, that you did not have an ulterior motive for the same.

This kind of atonement is especially important to undertake if you have not been forgiven. In this case, atonement includes not hating them for it. Do not fall into the trap of not forgiving them for not forgiving you! Love them instead! Be extra helpful to them, go out of your way to show acts of love, go the extra mile to make them happy. At some point the other party will love you for it and forgiveness will flow unbidden!

Step 7. What is left to do still? This step goes beyond the small sphere of you and the other. It concerns the larger picture. It takes into account what Quantum Physics says: that we are all connected. Therefore, what I say, do or think affects not only the people in my vicinity and those visible to me. It affects my neighbor hood, my compound, my location, my city, my country, the Earth. And it does not stop there! Its vibration is experienced by all sentient beings in every nook and cranny in the Universe! Every time I show Love and Respect for one person, I have shown Love and Respect for all in the Universe! And each time I have hurt just one person, I have done the same to every person in the universe. Imagine that! Awesome! Just acknowledging this profound thought in our consciousness is deeply humbling!

So it stands to reason that asking for forgiveness from the person we know we have hurt is not enough. To experience total forgiveness, we have to ask for forgiveness from all of humanity! Blimey! How do we go about doing that? Read on next week …..

Next Week: Step 7 Contd.

Kamal Tolia

Founder Member, Lotus Healing Seva Group

Asking For Forgiveness Part 2

Last week we learned that asking for forgiveness is vital for our Peace. To be successful in this we need to understand what is involved. The following steps will help you.

Step 1. The most important step: Ehsaas. Realize that you have wronged. Realisation goes beyond simple knowing you have wronged. It includes acceptance of your mistake. That what you did, say or think was wrong, and that YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT. No IFS and BUTS!

Total Ehsaas means taking responsibility for you error. It was you who did the wrong, so it is you who must ask for forgiveness. Until you have Ehsaas in the deepest corner of your mind, you will find it difficult, maybe even impossible to ask for forgiveness.

Step 2. Pashchataap This step may be very difficult, but it has to be done. Feel Regret for what you have done. Feel remorse for the pain you have caused the other.

Step 3. Next face the person and ‘ADMIT TO THEM THAT YOU HAVE WRONGED THEM, AND EXPRESS YOUR REGRET AND REMORSE FOR HAVING HURT THEM’. Say you are SORRY!

Step 4. Now comes asking for forgiveness … Kshama Maangna or Maafi Mangna. Say it simply: I am sorry. I ask for your forgiveness for the wrong I have done and the pain I have caused you….’

At this stage, one of two things can happen: you will be forgiven or you will not be forgiven. If you are forgiven, you will feel a great sense of relief and a wave of Love from them to you, because forgiving is nothing short of loving!

But if the forgiveness does not come, you may feel spurned. No Love for you! Be accepting of it. Do not judge or hold it against them. They are still hurting … it is OK. Just be patient, in time they will forgive … allow them this time. Do not dwell on their unwillingness to forgive. In either case, whether you are forgiven or not, you will regain a measure of peace, secure in the knowledge that you have done the right thing! And in Truth, the fact that you have sincerely asked for forgiveness, you will have learned your lessons of humility and can move on!

Step 5. Resolve not to repeat the action again, for if you do, then the whole exercise of asking for forgiveness will have been in vain, and you will have lost all ground gained. You do this overtly by speaking it out aloud to the aggrieved party or you can make a vow silently in your mind. Both ways work fine provided you mean it with your heart!

Step 6. Whether or not we have been forgiven, we have to follow this step. It is called Prayashchit or making amends. It means righting the wrong or atoning for the wrong you have done. In the old days the rishis and sages would sit in ‘penance’ for the wrongs they had done. They would fast and stay in meditation for days in the belief that this would ‘pay’ for their ‘sins’.

Next week: Steps continued

With Reiki Blessings and Love from Kenya!

Kamal Tolia

Asking For Forgiveness ….Part 1

Much has been said and written about forgiving others. The other side of the Forgiveness coin is Asking For Forgiveness. If letting go was hard enough, asking for forgiveness can be equally hard, if not harder. But the good news is that if we apply either one of them, the other becomes less painful to implement.

If we are asked to count on our fingers the number of times we have been hurt by others, we might find that we run out of fingers. But when asked to do the opposite … how many times have we hurt others, …. We may find we don’t need all ten fingers!

So it is with most people. As usual our ego controls our emotions and how we feel. It makes us feel we are right, others wrong …. We are good, others bad ….we are kind, others heartless …. and so on, always absolving itself of any wrongs and placing the blame squarely on others..

Having said that, in the deepest core of our being, we do realize that we may not always be perfect in our relationships, and if we care to look deeper, we will see that on occasions we have hurt others with our thoughts, words and actions. It might take immense courage to go past your ego and accept that you can be wrong, but once you are ready to accept responsibility for this, you will be ready to ask for forgiveness.

Why should we ask for forgiveness?

Each of us has a core of God Essence, which is perfect, whole and complete and therefore at peace. Whenever we operate from Oneness and with Love, Compassion, Forgiveness …. We are in tune with this Divine Core and we tap into this Godly Peace. Each time we operate from the ego level of me, myself, I, and with hatred, anger, jealousy, fear, and in the process hurt people, we move out of sync with this Godly core and the peace it carries. Outwardly, nothing may appear changed, but inwardly, a lot will be wrong. We will have no inner peace.

This subtle inner agitation will prompt us periodically to ask for forgiveness, but as usual the ego steps in with its own self-serving arguments of how you were not wrong, so why should you ask for forgiveness? This inner battle between your Higher Self and your ego self is quite tiring and very often, the ego wins. So you learn to live with this ‘unpeace.’ To make sure it does not disturb you (actually your ego!) you push it down onto the deep recesses of your consciousness and continue with life as if it were normal.

In truth, it is anything but normal, as you will discover. For this disturbance in inner peace brings about disturbance in your outer peace with all its attendant problems …… in relationships with everybody, even with yourself! The ego may have won the battle, but it will have lost the war.

Next week: How to ask for Forgiveness

With Reiki Blessings and Love from Kenya!

Kamal Tolia