Thoughts And Practices For Enlightened Living 2

Asking For Forgiveness Part 2

Last week we learned that asking for forgiveness is vital for our Peace. To be successful in this we need to understand what is involved. The following steps will help you.

Step 1. The most important step: Ehsaas. Realize that you have wronged. Realisation goes beyond simple knowing you have wronged. It includes acceptance of your mistake. That what you did, say or think was wrong, and that YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT. No IFS and BUTS!

Total Ehsaas means taking responsibility for you error. It was you who did the wrong, so it is you who must ask for forgiveness. Until you have Ehsaas in the deepest corner of your mind, you will find it difficult, maybe even impossible to ask for forgiveness.

Step 2. Pashchataap This step may be very difficult, but it has to be done. Feel Regret for what you have done. Feel remorse for the pain you have caused the other.

Step 3. Next face the person and ‘ADMIT TO THEM THAT YOU HAVE WRONGED THEM, AND EXPRESS YOUR REGRET AND REMORSE FOR HAVING HURT THEM’. Say you are SORRY!

Step 4. Now comes asking for forgiveness … Kshama Maangna or Maafi Mangna. Say it simply: I am sorry. I ask for your forgiveness for the wrong I have done and the pain I have caused you….’

At this stage, one of two things can happen: you will be forgiven or you will not be forgiven. If you are forgiven, you will feel a great sense of relief and a wave of Love from them to you, because forgiving is nothing short of loving!

But if the forgiveness does not come, you may feel spurned. No Love for you! Be accepting of it. Do not judge or hold it against them. They are still hurting … it is OK. Just be patient, in time they will forgive … allow them this time. Do not dwell on their unwillingness to forgive. In either case, whether you are forgiven or not, you will regain a measure of peace, secure in the knowledge that you have done the right thing! And in Truth, the fact that you have sincerely asked for forgiveness, you will have learned your lessons of humility and can move on!

Step 5. Resolve not to repeat the action again, for if you do, then the whole exercise of asking for forgiveness will have been in vain, and you will have lost all ground gained. You do this overtly by speaking it out aloud to the aggrieved party or you can make a vow silently in your mind. Both ways work fine provided you mean it with your heart!

Step 6. Whether or not we have been forgiven, we have to follow this step. It is called Prayashchit or making amends. It means righting the wrong or atoning for the wrong you have done. In the old days the rishis and sages would sit in ‘penance’ for the wrongs they had done. They would fast and stay in meditation for days in the belief that this would ‘pay’ for their ‘sins’.

Next week: Steps continued

With Reiki Blessings and Love from Kenya!

Kamal Tolia