Asking For Forgiveness … Part 6. Special Cases and Situations contd…
- What if the mistake you made has been done in the past, say, a few years ago and life has continued as normal. Perhaps the other party does not even remember the incident. But you have introspected and realized you were hurtful. Or maybe you have just experienced how it feels to be hurt by another in a similar situation i.e the shoe is on the other foot. You now want to make amends. What do you do then? You can face the person/s and actually go through all the steps. But you know and I know, that this may not always be such a good idea. It may turn out beautifully well, or …. Horror of horrors! ….. it may backfire at you! The other person may not remember the situation normally, but when reminded of it, the old pain may resurface, and lead to more conflict! Then your whole exercise will have been in vain!
If you have the slightest doubt about the result, then do this: Just sit down quietly, introspect on your actions, understood where you were wrong, regret your actions, and then resolve not to repeat the action. AND THEN LET YOUR ACTIONS REFLECT THIS INNER RESOLVE — FROM NOW ON!
- What if the person you have wronged is no longer part of your life e. he /she no longer shares the same space with you. Maybe they are staying far away in the same town ….. or even on another continent? If the relationship is strained, and you know you are responsible, even partly, swallow your pride, call up the person, and go through steps 1-5. Or if calling is not an option, do it in a letter. Few are the people who will not forgive on receiving a written apology!
But once again, if you think that even writing will open up a can of worms, simply go through the steps privately.
- Lastly, what if the person you have hurt is no longer alive? This is simple! Visualise the person, and just go through the steps in your mind. Then let the whole matter go. Let it go completely, from your mind. Will you be forgiven? YES! Our loved ones will ALWAYS forgive us even from ‘the other side’!
This then is the principle of asking for forgiveness. In all cases, it is important that you wish to redress a wrong you have committed. Whether the other party forgives you or not is not in your hands. What is in your hands is that you have sincerely tried to apologise and change from inside.
Even God could not ask for more!
Next Week: Forgiveness For The Soul
Kamal Tolia
Founder Member
LHSG